A Hyperactive Mind

It's like a never ending storm... A mass of swirling winds, violent strikes of lightning, and deafening roar of thunder. There's never peace... no moment of silence. There's only the raging of all of nature's fury, in all of its divine, yet frightening glory. It amazes us, yet terrifies us at the same time. Such is the nature of this mind of mine.

It's hard to find a moment to relax whenever that which constantly disturbs your peace lies within your own head. How can you possibly seek sanctuary from that which you cannot hide from? It's always there, a constant source of torment, which no one else can hear.

But it's not always so. By that same token, this constant train of thought is the source of creative brilliance, resulting in beautiful works of art and ingenuity. This mind is what earns my living and gives me the enjoyment of being able to engulf within the worlds between the pages of literature's finest. It's this mind which allows me to think of the most wonderful ways to explore life and all of its intricacies and adventures. I love it for what it is, and for everything it does.

At the same time, I wish there was a switch inside my head which I could turn on and off at will, to keep it from the worrying and fretting over things which are entirely made up in my mind, or perhaps blown completely out of proportion. There have been many nights when I've been kept awake by nothing more than my own raving thoughts of worry, which often have no reasonable cause. I worry that perhaps I'll wake up in the morning and realize that all of my loved ones are lost, never to be found again. I worry that I'll fail at my job or simply fail at life itself, if such a thing were possible.

Sometimes I can calm these thoughts and recognize them for what they are, a fear grounded in an imaginary world which has nothing to do with one I actually live in. For in this real life, I know that I'm loved by a wonderful girl, I have a lovely family, and I have everything in the world I need. Then at other times, I can't do it on my own. And it's during these times when I'm glad that I have friends and loved ones to remind my of which life is truly reality.

I imagine that I'll continue to have times where I might have to deal with the voices inside my head which lead me astray. I'll have moments where I worry about things which I really have no reason to worry about or more than I should. I know because I can't stop my mind from doing what it does. But... at least I have the loved ones around me to remind me that I'm doing just fine, whether it's on the phone, over e-mail, or just by me, taking a good look at the smiling face in the picture on my desk.

It's those things... those people who are my sanctuary from this overactive mind of mine. And it's those people... those things which remind me of just how wonderful the life outside of my head truly is and just how blessed I truly am.